


Hate, Among Other Things

by boyslushie



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Kissing, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 08:32:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boyslushie/pseuds/boyslushie
Summary: Batman and Joker talk about feelings.





	

**Author's Note:**

> https://kirbypegasister.tumblr.com/post/167651223799/doodles-from-cybernetic-slushie-fanfic-i-read-two @kirbypegadister on tumblr drew some adorable fanart for this fic!!!! go check it out! <3

Batman was always one for stealth and hiding, awaiting the perfect moment to strike. So when Joker whips around just in time to hear Batman squeak loudly as he tripped over his own cape, he already knew something was up. Batman stood quickly, regaining his dark, brooding composure. He coughed and cleared his throat, wrapping himself awkwardly in his cape before approaching the villain. 

“Batsy! What a sweet surprise!” Joker sang through a quiet string of giggles. Batman glared at him, his eyes the only currently visible part of his face due to him still holding his cape around him. It was childish, really, but it only made Joker’s grin grow wider with endearment and amusement. Clearly he was hiding something, just as he had suspected.

“I only showed up because I saw the batsignal. The only problem is, I don’t see any crime.” he said in his usual, deep gravelly voice. He narrowed his eyes further, scanning over Joker who was pulling the most innocent face he could muster.

“Perhaps that’s because I lit up the batsignal to lure you out here, to talk.” Joker said. There wasn’t the slightest hint of falsity in his voice, but Batman remained suspicious.

“Why?” He asked flatly. Joker’s face fell for a moment, coming back slightly frustrated and a little more serious.

“You’ve been avoiding me, Bats. Ever since you said you hated me. Ever since you told me that I was your Greatest Enemy. I’m only here to find out why.” Joker admitted. He could see Batman’s eyes shifting under the mask, clearly nervous.

“I… well you see I… don’t really know.” Batman sighed, dropping the cape and hanging his arms at his sides.

“What?” Joker asks, eyes blinking owlishly at the honest admission.

“I don’t know, I’ve been… feeling things these past few months, it’s stupid and embarrassing…” Batman huffs. Joker gives him a sympathetic smile and sits down on the curb, patting the spot next to him.

“Hey, it’s ok. I know I’m your villain, but it’s not like we’re putting up a show for anyone, you can tell me what’s wrong and I won’t make fun of you.” Joker offers. Batman gives him a questioning glance and slumps down onto the concrete.

“... Ok, promise?” He asks, sucking in a shaky breath.

“I promise.” Joker assures, holding out a hooked pinky towards Batman. Batman smiles and shakes his head before looping his pinky around Joker’s.

“Well… every time I’m around you, I stop being able to do my job properly and everything gets all warm and… soft? I don’t just feel that unbridled, seething rage, because now it’s mixed with something… happy? I don’t think that’s quite it. But it makes even my strong legs that are usually as sturdy as reinforced steel beams weak as gelatin. I feel like you’re poisoning me or something.” 

The whole while, Joker’s face was growing increasingly more awed, until he broke out into that happiest grin he had ever seen on the villain’s face.

“Batman, I’m not poisoning you… but I know exactly what you’re feeling, because I feel the same way around you all the time, It’s the reason you’re on my mind so much, and why sometimes, instead of making my blood boil, you somehow turn my bloodstream into pure sugar. The reason my heart beats so fast when we so much as argue, and why we’re sitting here right now.” Joker emphasizes their sudden closeness by gently running his hand down Batman’s arm. Batman visibly blushes in the area where his cowl is open for his mouth and nose. He shivers and grabs Joker’s hand.  
“I love you, Batman.” Joker whispers. This time, it’s Batman’s turn to gasp. He tightens his grip on Joker’s hand.

“R-really? You do? That’s…. That’s what I’ve been feeling this whole time…” Batman says, eyes wide. Joker smiles softly, cheeks flushed pink. 

“I guess that… I love you too then, Joker.” He replies in a near whisper. Joker’s pupils are blown wide, and he finally follows the will of his brain’s urging and leans forward to catch Batman’s lips with his own. He feel’s Batman’s muscles tense up under his shaking palms, but the moment passes and he relaxes, letting his lips move against Joker’s. It sends a pleasant buzz up Joker’s spine and his smile grows. He wraps his arms around the taller and he feels Batman’s muscly arms pulling him closer. His heart is practically beating out of his chest, and he feels like at any moment he could just melt into a puddle of nothingness out of sheer joy. Batman’s cheeks are hot against the cool metal of his mask, and the odd feeling of Joker’s lipstick smearing on his face, his soft, gentle lips hiding large sharp teeth, and yet the feeling was perfect in every way imaginable. He shucked off one of his gloves in favor of running his hand through Joker’s fluffy green hair. Joker sighed a warm breath of contentment as he did so, and dear god the man smelled and tasted of vanilla. Eventually, they finally broke the kiss, both hero and villain breathing a little harder than usual.

“Wow… Joker.” Batman whispered breathlessly, his heart fluttering.

“That color looks good on you. Batsy.” Joker teased, eyes staring fondly at the smeared red lipstick covering Batman’s mouth. Batman giggled.

Actually giggled.

Joker looked shocked, the redness of his face increasing.  
“Did you…. Do that again.” Joker urged him. Batman just stared with a lopsided smile and a hazy brain full of Joker and confusion.

“What?” He responded, never tearing his eyes from his green haired partner. 

“You _giggled!_ ” Joker said, laying his palm flat against Batman’s chest and leaning forwards. Batman saw his opportunity and craned his neck down to place a kiss on top of Joker’s head. When this made Joker chuckle, he did too. They sat there like that for a while until Batman’s phone rang. He sat back and pulled out his cellphone, quickly flicking the “answer call” button and holding it up to his ear.

“Hello, this is Batman, world's most amazing hero speaking.” He greeted.

“Yeah, Batman I know it’s you.” came Barbara’s voice from the other end of the line.

“Oh hey, Babs! What’s up?” He returned.

“Well, the batsignal went off, but there are zero reports of crime happening in Gotham tonight, so I was simply wondering, where are you right now?” she asked in a calm, demanding voice. The color drained from Batman’s face as he racked his brain for an excuse. 

“I-I’m… uhh….” 

“You better be back here in fifteen minutes, Dick had soda again and we can’t take care of him alone, and since there’s no crime, you shouldn’t be busy at the moment, see you soon.” she said with a sense of urgency before hanging up.

“Oh boy…” Batman sighed.

“Something wrong?” Joker asked, puzzled by the exchange.

“Robin got into the soda again, so he’s a little unhinged. I’ve been given fifteen minutes to get back to the cave to help dissolve the situation, or I’m in hot water. Which shouldn’t even be a thing since I’m Batman.” He huffed grumpily. Joker nodded in understanding. Batman brought out his grappling hook, shooting it onto the edge of a nearby building before having a sudden idea. He turned around and before Joker had a chance to open his mouth to say his goodbyes, he stole a quick kiss and shot off into the night. Joker smiled giddily as he watched him go, pondering how he was going to explain those lipstick stains to the others.

**Author's Note:**

> Woah, I finally wrote a Lego Batman fic. I hope you liked it! I'll probably write more soon!


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